Superior Defender Trigundam Force
by The Geeky Saxophonist
Summary: Due to the instability of inter-dimensional travel, Vash and Wolfwood end up in Neotopia and Knives and Legato end up with the Dark Axis! What craziness will occur when the worlds of the gunslingers and adorable robots meet?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes!** This is a silly crossover between Superior Defender Gundam Force and Trigun! It is meant to be silly and there are definitely a few OOC moments, but I hope you will still enjoy it. This is also been posted to deviantART, though I made a few edits here. Happy reading!

**SUPERIOR DEFENDER TRIGUNDAM FORCE**

**CHAPTER 1**

It was a peaceful day in the peaceful city of Neotopia. The people were happy, as were the mobile citizens. No crimes were being committed, no one was arguing, and not even one little kid was complaining about anything. It was such a wonderful, perfect day, like every day in Neotopia.

Today, Bell Wood, the brilliant young scientist of the Super Dimensional Guard, was testing his Dimensional Transport Device at Lab C.

"Alright! I think we'll be able to start sending the SDG to other dimensions soon!" he said, looking over the results from the last test the machine had performed perfectly.

"How much longer do you think it will be until then?" Chief Haro, the leader of the Super Dimensional Guard, asked.

"Not long at all, maybe a few days or so," Bell Wood said confidently, "if this last test is successful, then we'll be able to send our guys to all the dimensions out there!"

"That's wonderful news!" Chief Haro said.

Bell Wood turned back to the computer screen. With precision, he quickly entered all the data the contraption needed to transport the test subject (one of the giant bananas Zero had conjured up a while back—it was starting to get moldy). "Here we go!" he said, eagerly watching the device start up.

--

The evil purple sky looked ominous behind the spiky mess that was the base of the Dark Axis. Zakos scuttled around while their three officers shouted angrily. A group of four Zakos or so were fleeing from a very angry Zapper after accidently angering him.

"That was scary, zako," said the first Zako.

"I'd say, zako," the second replied.

The four little green robots peeked around the corner they had dived behind as they eluded the trigger-happy Zaku.

"I don't see him, zako," the third said.

"Get back, get back!" the fourth shouted, causing all of them to start panicking. "I think I see him!!!"

The Zakos fled once again, losing all sense of the direction as they ran madly, trying to escape from the mad Zapper who really wasn't after them—the fourth Zako hadn't even seen him, it had been him hallucinating. You know how Zako soldiers are…

Before long, the Zakos stumbled upon an interesting item during their mad charge.

One of them picked it up. "Hey, it's the Zakurello Gate controller, zako!" he said.

"What's it doing here, zako?"

"I dunno."

"Ooh, can I touch it?"

"No!" the Zako who held the small controller said, holding it close against his chest. He was promptly tackled by the other three Zakos, who got into a big wrestling match.

One of the Zakos looked up during the scuffle and stiffened. "Ahh, look what we did! We've opened the Zakurello Gate!" he shouted fearfully.

--

It was a normal night on the planet Gunsmoke. The legendary outlaw Vash the Stampede and his priest/gunman friend Nicholas D. Wolfwood had been enjoying some drinks at the local bar and to be perfectly honest, were now hopelessly drunk.

"Wooooo, this is good stuff, huh, Wolfwood?" a drunken Vash slurred.

"Sure is," the priest responded, going for another drink and realized his glass was empty. "Hey, there's nothin' left in here! I coulda sworn there was some in here, like, a minute ago…" he glared accusingly at Vash. "Did you swipe my drink?"

"No, I didn't," the outlaw said, "You drank it and forgot or somethin'…"

"No, you took it, I know it!" Wolfwood snapped.

"Did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

The two of them promptly got into a fight and were consequently kicked out of the bar. They lay on the ground in a jumbled, drunken heap.

"Now we can't get any drinks out here," Wolfwood pouted.

Suddenly, a gaping hole appeared in the sky.

"Hey, whazzat up there?" Vash asked, pointing at the strange occurrence.

Wolfwood studied it hard and came to a conclusion.

"I think it's a sign from God that we're going to have a bad hangover tomorrow."

--

Vash's evil twin brother (literally), Millions Knives, and his main evil henchman, Legato Bluesummers, were standing on the rise of the sand dune before the town they were about to decimate.

"This will make Vash so upset," Knives said smugly.

"Shall I begin the mind control, master?" Legato asked.

"Yes, begin," Knives said, smiling cruelly and beginning a wicked, evil laugh.

Suddenly, something materialized out of the sky, stopping the evil plan in its tracks. It looked like a giant mouth with menacing eyes perched on top.

"What is that?" Legato asked, stunned.

Knives stared in awe. He honestly had no idea what this was or what it could do. All he was able to do was stand, and gawk…

It opened its jaws, revealing a swirling purple-and-black maw. "Rello….." it growled in a deep, monstrous voice before gulping the two of them up.

--

The next morning, Vash and Wolfwood were gone without a trace from the small town they had been staying in. But for some mysterious reason, a slightly moldy giant banana had appeared unexplainably in front of the local bar.

Knives and Legato were nowhere to be found as well, but no one noticed.

"It looks like this final test was a success!" Bell Wood proclaimed triumphantly. "The banana's gone, and these readings look like it got there a-ok!"  
"This is wonderful news!" Chief Haro said delightedly. "Shall I tell the SDG?"

Unexpectedly, the machine whirred and the inter-dimensional gate opened without explanation.

"What're you doing now, Bell Wood?" the chief asked.

"I'm not doing anything!" the scientist exclaimed.

The two of them stared blankly as the Dimensional Transport device deposited a disorderly pile of what looked like two people. One was clad in a red coat and the other in a black suit.

"What in the world?" Bell Wood muttered, glancing from the readout on the computer screens to the two inter-dimensional visitors. "I have no idea how they got here… do you think they're dangerous, Chief?"

"We can't take any chances. Call the Gundam Force!" Chief Haro ordered.

--

"ALRIGHT, WHO OPENED THE ZAKURELLO GATE!!!!" Zapper Zaku bellowed at the assembled Zako Army.

The Zako who had found the controller quickly passed it to the clueless Zako next to him. "Not me, zako."

"WHOEVER DID THIS IS IN BIG TROUBLE!!" Zapper shouted, waving his gun around.

Grappler Gouf sighed in frustration. "You're not going to find out who opened the Gate if you act like that," he grumbled. "Right, Destroyer?"

"Duhhh," replied Destroyer Dom.

"I work with total idiots," Grappler grumbled as he buried his face in his hands.

"WHOEVER HAS THAT REMOTE BETTER GIVE IT BACK! WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL GET IN WITH THE GATE OPEN!!" Zapper screamed.

As if to make his point, two figures suddenly were flung through the gate, crashing unceremoniously into the dimension of the Dark Axis.

The maroon robot steamed and wildly jabbed his gun towards the two new arrivals. "SEE!!! I THINK MY POINT HAS BEEN MADE!! GET ME THAT REMOTE OR _ELSE!!!"_

--

Vash had a horrible headache. He couldn't really remember the night before. All that really stood out was Wolfwood, drinking, getting kicked out of the bar, the strange hole in the sky… yeah, that was a normal night for the outlaw…

_Wait_, Vash thought. He went over the occurrences from the night before and tried to pick out the strange part. _Getting kicked out? No, that always happens. The weird hole in the sky? Naww—oh wait…_

The $$60,000,000,000 Man's eyes shot open and took in a most unfamiliar landscape. It wasn't the sandy planet Gunsmoke, something in his gut told him that. There was a barren area around wherever they were but it certainly was not endless desert. The strangest part was a large structure all around them of multiple pastel colors. He and Wolfwood were sprawled out on the ground in the center of it.

"Hey Spikey, are you awake?" Wolfwood muttered.

"Yeah."

"Where do you think we are?"

Vash thought for a moment. "I have no idea."

The priest sighed. "Wonderful."

All of a sudden, the two of them were surrounded by a squadron of short, stubby, armored people. Or were they people? One of them stepped forward, looking much different than the rest. His head was ornamented with a V-shaped crest and he had large, adorable eyes that looked at the two men unblinkingly. He had a shield of some sort covering where his mouth should have been and the rest of his body was covered with armor. His shield was held at ready and a gun was pointed at Vash and Wolfwood.

"They must be after the bounty," Vash whispered, frightened.

"I am Captain Gundam of the Gundam Force. I have been granted special dispensation to use firearms in the defense of Neotopia," the cute-eyed robot said.

"Don't do anything stupid," Wolfwood whispered.

"AAAAAAAHH!! PLEASE DON'T KILL US!!! I'LL DO ANYTHING, OH PLEASE OH PLEASE DON'T SHOOT US!!" Vash sobbed.

"…like that," groaned Wolfwood.

Captain Gundam lowered his weapon. "Did you think I was actually going to shoot you?" he asked.

"Well, everyone always tries to shoot me even though I didn't do anything bad, why should you be any different?" Vash exclaimed.

"That's horrible," Captain said.

"I know," the outlaw said. "Wait, what?"

"That's horrible that everyone always tries to shoot you. What dimension did you come from?"

Vash and Wolfwood stared blankly at the Gundam, who stared blankly back at them.

"This is one hell of a hangover," Wolfwood sighed.

Knives had no idea where he was, and why he and Legato were surrounded by hundreds, no, thousands of little green… things… that stared with one large red eye. They didn't seem hostile, they just stared. And stared. And stared.

"What should we do, master?" Legato asked.

"Try to control their minds and get them away from us," Knives responded. "They're kind of creepy."

Legato nodded and attempted to take over the minds of the closest little green thing. But his attack was rejected. These minds were not human. Not even remotely human.

"It's not working," he gasped.

"What do you mean, 'it's not working'?" Knives demanded, grabbing Legato's shoulders.

"It's like they aren't human or something!" the frightened henchman exclaimed fearfully. "They're not like you, either, they're something I've never even come across before! I can't get into their minds!"

One of the little green things stepped forward, towards the two of them.

"Stop him! Shoot it or something!" Knives shouted.

"I don't have a gun!" Legato cried frantically, rummaging through his pockets and coming up with nothing except some pocket lint and a few double dollars.

Knives quickly jammed his hands in his pockets and came up with his gun. He frantically pulled the trigger over and over at the strange green thing but nothing happened. There were no bullets.

"Don't come any closer!" he shouted, still aiming the gun at the thing's head, "I'll use my angel arm on you!"

The green thing tipped its head in confusion. "Zako?" it said.

"What?" Knives asked. He was really, really, _really_ weirded out.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!" a voice bellowed unexpectedly. Knives and Legato looked at the source of the voice and saw many of the green things flying in the air as a larger, maroon thing like them plowed its way through. This one was followed by a light blue creature and a larger black one. The trio stopped in front of the plant and the human.

The maroon one grunted angrily. "Ew, look, organic things! In our beautiful dimension!!"

The black one nodded. "Duhh. Not robots."

The blue one looked at Knives and Legato. "They sort of look like those organic creatures from Neotopia. What should we do with them?"

"Get the Bagu-Bagus!" the maroon one shouted. "Zako soldiers, turn these disgusting creatures into STONE!!"

The green robots all pointed their guns at the Knives and Legato, ready to fire.

--

Vash and Wolfwood had been deemed "not a threat" to Neotopia after Vash's little episode. They had been brought to Blanc Base (the base of the Super Dimensional Guard) under the supervision of Captain and Chief Haro. It was a most interesting base, since it seemed to hover over the peaceful little city of Neotopia.

The two men didn't know what to make of this strange, peaceful city, full of lush trees, grass, and flowers, and most of all, happy people coexisting with adorable little robots. Vash thought he they had discovered in the most perfect place ever and Wolfwood was convinced that they had died and arrived in a very weird heaven.

At Blanc Base, the two inter-dimensional visitors met the rest of the Gundam Force. Every single little robot there was completely cute and Vash couldn't resist giving them all hugs. This did not go over to well with some of them.

Especially with Bakunetsumaru, the blazing samurai of Ark.

Vash had spotted the little red-and-white robot and immediately squealed, "Oh, lookit that cute widdle guy!!" and ran over to give him a hug.

Baku was immediately engulfed in a red-coated hug.

"GET OFF OF ME!!!!!!!!" he screamed.

"You're so adorable," Vash cooed.

"NO I'M NOT!!" Baku shouted. "DON'T MAKE ME USE TENKYOUKEN ON YOU!"

Vash had no idea what that was but it sounded painful, so he decided to let the little musha Gundam go. "Sorry," he said.

"You'd better be," Bakunetsumaru grumbled, stalking off.

The rest of the Gundam Force didn't mind the hugs.

Wolfwood was dismayed since cigarettes did not exist in this dimension, and he had lost his pack during the inter-dimensional travel. Other than that, he thought Neotopia was a nice place.

"Neotopia is such a nice place," Wolfwood told Chief Haro.

"I know, isn't it," the chief responded. "Our duty as the Super Dimensional Guard is to make sure it stays this way."

"You mean, some try to destroy this wonderful city?" Vash asked.

"Yes—the Dark Axis. They've tried to take over our dimension by taking control of our mobile citizens," Chief Haro said.

"That's so sad," Vash sobbed.

"Thankfully, the Gundam Force always defeats them," Chief Haro said.

"That's good," said Wolfwood. "Say, do you need any help with defending Neotopia?"

"I think we have enough, but it would always be good to have more on our side," Chief Haro said.

"Wolfwood and I can help out until we can be sent back to our own dimension," Vash offered. "We're both very good gunmen."

"Wonderful," replied the chief. "You two can be honorary members of the Gundam Force."

"Thank you, Chief Haro," said Vash.

"You're welcome. Do you guys want to get lunch?" the chief asked.

"That sounds amazing!" said Vash. "Are there donuts here?"

"Of course," replied Chief Haro.

"I LOVE THIS DIMENSION!!!" Vash declared.

--

Knives stared down the barrel of the Zako soldier's gun. This was the end… _Wait a minute, what am I thinking?_ _I am superior to these little metal scraps! I should stop them…_

"Wait!" Legato suddenly shouted. "Before you kill us, can we at least know who you are, powerful enough to defeat the incredible Millions Knives!"

Knives looked at the blue-haired man strangely. He was not acting normally. Not that Legato was normal to begin with… Perhaps this inability to control robots made him act even odder.

The maroon robot glared at them. "I suppose we could tell you," he said, looking at the blue and black robots. They nodded in agreement.

For no explainable reason, a stage appeared in front of Legato and Knives. Spotlights were shown on the curtain in front of it, and a strange song started.

"Zako… zako… zako… it's Zako Zako Hour!"

The two men stared in pure confusion as the curtain was lifted and three of the Zako soldiers were revealed, standing in front of a large television screen. Each of them held a microphone—a red one, a blue one, and a yellow one.

"Ladies and gentlebots, welcome to the Zako Zako Hour!" said one of the Zakos as they all bowed. "Today's topic is, all together now…"

"What is the Dark Axis?" all three of them shouted.

"Ha, what a dumb question," said the Zako with the blue microphone. "Everyone knows what the Dark Axis is, zako."

"Those guys don't, zako!" the yellow microphone Zako said.

"The Dark Axis is the evilest army of all of the dimensions!" the red microphone Zako said. "We consist mainly of the Zako army—" a picture of the Zakos appeared on the screen.

"That's us, Zako," said blue microphone.

"…our three wonderful officers, Zapper Zaku, Grappler Gouf, and Destroyer Dom…" Pictures of the maroon, blue, and black robots were displayed on the screen. "…and our commander, Sazabi!" a picture of a dramatic silhouette was shown.

"They're the best, zako," said yellow microphone.

"I know, aren't they," blue microphone said.

"Quiet, you two!" red microphone shouted. "I haven't told the goal of the Dark Axis yet!"

"Sorry, zako."

"As I was saying, the goal of the Dark Axis is to conquer other dimensions, destroy all organic life there, and defeat the Gundam Force!"

"Ahhh! The Gundam Force? Where?!" Blue microphone panicked.

"Not here, zako! I was just talking about them!" Red snapped.

"Tell us about the Gundam Force, zako," said Yellow.

Pictures of a bunch of robots appeared on the screen. These robots had big eyes and had v-shaped crests on their heads.

"Okay, okay, zako. The Gundam Force is from Neotopia, or at least based there. They prevent us from conquering Neotopia. This makes us mad!"

"Very mad, zako."

"Someday we'll defeat them, zako!

"I hope so, zako."

"That's all for today's meeting, zako!" said red microphone.

The curtain slammed down hard. "For the future of the Dark Axis…"

"Zako soldiers fight, yeah!" the army bellowed.

"That was really weird," Legato whispered.

A plan had formed in the mind of Knives during the presentation. "I think I have an idea to keep us both alive," Knives murmured to his henchman as the Zakos once again began advancing on them. "…and to destroy all of the humans on the planet Gunsmoke as well."

Knives and Legato grinned evilly as what looked like their end loomed closer...


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER** **2**

Vash and Wolfwood enjoyed a delicious lunch with their new friends, the Gundam Force. They had a delightful picnic at the beautiful Peace Park in Neotopia. Bakunetsumaru and Zero only tried to kill each other once. It was so very lovely.

It began to get late.

"Where should we stay tonight?" Vash asked Wolfwood.

"I don't know," Wolfwood replied, "Let's ask the Gundams."

So Vash and Wolfwood asked the Gundams where they should stay for the night.

"You could come to our yellow submarine," the Gundivers said, "where we live beneath the waves in the sea of green."

"Thanks, but that sounds dangerous," Vash said.

"I think Shute wouldn't mind if you stayed at his house," Captain said.

"Who's Shute?" Wolfwood asked.

"He is a special member of the Gundam Force like you," Captain replied.

"I guess we could stay there," Vash said. "Where's his house?"

"Gunbike can take you there," Captain said, pointing at what looked like a motorcycle with a Gundam's face. It had a little sidecar and giant missile pods.

"Alright, let's go!" Vash said.

"I want to drive!" Wolfwood said.

"You always get to drive," Vash complained.

"Ha, you can't even drive," Wolfwood snorted.

"Yes I can…. Well, sort of," Vash said.

The two of them continued fighting over who would drive until the bike yelled at them.

"QUIT FIGHTIN' AND GET IN! I DO THE DRIVIN' AROUND HERE," it bellowed.

"AAAAAAAHHHH! IT'S ALIVE!" Vash screamed, jumping into Wolfwood's arms.

"A bike's never yelled at me before," the priest said, shocked.

"Maybe I should have told you, Gunbike has the AI unit of my instructor," Captain said. He leaned in real close next to Vash's and Wolfwood's ears and whispered, "He's very grouchy."

"I HEARD THAT, CAPTAIN!" Gunbike bellowed.

The Gundam shrugged and Vash and Wolfwood reluctantly boarded the crotchety old motorcycle to go to their nightly lodgings.

--

The Zako army advanced closer, with their guns full of the petrifying Bagu-Bagus, ready to turn Knives and Legato into stone sculptures. Just as the Zakos were all about to pull the triggers…

"WAIT!"

The Zakos all stopped and Knives' command.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOTS!! THEY AREN'T YOUR LEADERS, WE ARE!!" Zapper screeched.

"Please listen, Mr. Zapper, right? It's Zapper?" Knives asked sweetly.

The maroon robot stomped over to Knives and Legato. His single, robotic red eye seemed to narrow. "Make it quick."

"These organic creatures that you want to destroy, do they look like my henchman and I?"

"Sort of," Zapper said.

"Yeah, they do," Grappler Gouf said, joining Zapper with Destroyer Dom.

"Well, I have the same goal as you. I want to destroy all of the humans in the um, dimension where I come from," Knives said.

"Wait, aren't you a human?" Zapper asked.

"No, I'm a plant," Knives said. "Plants are much better than humans."

"Why are they any different from any other organics?" Zapper growled.

"First off all, we are some of the most powerful beings in the universe. Most of us aren't sentient, like me," —Knives grandly gestured at himself— "Plants like me age slowly can live to be much, much older than any stupid human, not to mention increased healing ability. Plus, I can turn my arm into a giant weapon with my amazing powers." The plant grinned hopefully at the three Dark Axis officers, who exchanged glances that almost looked like awe.

"And your friend?" Grappler inquired. "Is he a plant too?"

"No, he's a human, but he's special," Knives replied, "He can control humans' minds."

"Can he really?" Zapper demanded.

"Yes, yes I can!" Legato insisted.

"I don't believe him," Grappler said.

"I can!" Legato protested. "Just find me some humans and I'll show you!"

Grappler and Zapper looked at each other skeptically. Destroyer Dom looked totally oblivious.

"Give him a chance, please," Knives asked.

"I guess we could…" Grappler said.

"Alright. Once we find the Zakurello Gate controller, we'll bring him to Neotopia to see if he can really control humans," Zapper decided. "And if he can't, we'll TURN HIM INTO STONE!!"

--

Gunbike dropped off Vash and Wolfwood at an interesting-looking house on the outskirts of Neotopia.

"Right 'ere's where Shute lives. I'll see ya later," Gunbike growled before driving off.

"Gee, what a nice guy," Wolfwood said sarcastically.

"I HEARD THAT!!" Gunbike bellowed.

So Vash and Wolfwood went to the front door of the house and rang the doorbell. A woman with bluish-black hair answered the door.

"Hello there, how can I help you?" she asked sweetly.

"Um, hello there, is this Shute's house?" Vash asked.

"Yes, he's my son," the woman said.

"His friend Captain sent us here," Wolfwood explained.

"Oh, Captain, he's so sweet. I'll go get him." The woman walked away and yelled for Shute. A few seconds later, boy around ten years old came to the door. He had brown hair that stuck up funny in the front.

"Shute, these gentlemen said Captain sent them here," Shute's mom explained.

"Oh yeah, I remember Captain saying there were some friends of him visiting from out of town, and that they might come here," Shute said.

"You're friends of Captain, then? Come on in, any friend of Captain's is a friend of ours," Shute's mom said, inviting the inter-dimensional visitors into the house. "I'll make some tea," she said, disappearing into the kitchen.

"Gee, people sure are very trusting here," Wolfwood whispered to Vash.

Shute looked at Vash and Wolfwood and whispered, "You're the new Gundam Force special members, right?"

"Yeah," Vash said. "I'm Vash the Stampede, and this is my friend Nicholas D. Wolfwood. And you're the other special member?"

"Yeah, that's me," the kid said. "Captain called me about some new members from another dimension, but I couldn't go to the base to say hi since I had to go to school." Shute's green eyes widened. "What dimension did you come from?"

"It's a desert planet called Gunsmoke," Vash explained.

"Are there any robots or Gundams there?" the boy asked.

"No, there aren't…" Vash started.

"Wait, what about those weird roboty things that we fought that one time?" Wolfwood remembered.

Vash scratched his head. "I have no idea what those were. Anyways, I think the only native species to Gunsmoke are those sand worms, and those things aren't robots."

"Hm, that's interesting," Shute said. "Every dimension we've ever contacted had robots or Gundams living there."

Wolfwood shrugged. "I guess our dimension is weird or something. Say, can we stay here for the night? Captain said we could…"

"Of course!" Shute said. "You can stay in my lab, out in the backyard."

"Thank you!" Vash said. Now he and his priestly friend had a place to spend the night in the new dimension.

--

Zapper, Grappler, and Destroyer searched madly for the Zakurello Gate controller all night before it somehow mysteriously appeared in Destroyer Dom's weapon storage. He claimed he didn't know how it got there, but Grappler and Zapper decided he was too stupid to remember where he put it in the first place. But what really happened was the Zakos played a mad game of hot potato behind their leaders' backs and finally, one of the Zakos in charge of keeping Destroyer's weapon transport squeaky clean had deposited it there.

"Alright now, Bluesummers, let's see if you really can control human's minds," Zapper growled, pointing his gun at the Legato's back. "Grappler, you stay here and mind Knives. Destroyer, come with me, and you three," the maroon Zaku demanded, motioning at a few unlucky Zako soldiers.

The party boarded the Magna-Musai so they could travel to Neotopia through the Zakurello Gate. Legato had waved goodbye to Knives, who didn't wave back, which made him feel kind of sad. He brooded over this during the entire trip to the alternate dimension.

"We're here," Zapper announced after a few minutes. "We're going to have to walk most of the way so the Gundam Force doesn't detect us."

The small party of the Dark Axis members and the man walked in next to total silence as they searched for a human for Legato to demonstrate his skill, which his life depended on.

It looked to be early morning here. Legato noticed how lovely and healthy this place was, as opposed to Gunsmoke. It looked like such a wonderful place to live. He imagined himself living in a quaint little cottage overlooking a flowery field, with a pretty wife and maybe some kids…

_Wait a minute, what the heck am I thinking?_ Legato thought. _I am way too evil to lead a life like that. And what would Knives say?_

His thoughts were interrupted when one of the Zakos pointed out a lone figure walking down a sidewalk, whistling cheery. It appeared to be a man, maybe forty to fifty years old.

"Look, a human, zako," he whispered.

"Quiet now, let's hide behind those bushes," Zapper directed.

The six of them crouched down behind a vibrant green shrub. The man came closer, still totally oblivious to the evil beings poorly hidden behind the foliage.

"What should I make him do?" Legato whispered.

"Um, I don't know, what do you think, Destroyer?" Zapper asked.

"Duh, make him act like a fishy," Destroyer Dom suggested.

Legato was momentarily stunned at this strange request, but did as he was told. The man suddenly began flopping around on the sidewalk and sputtering "blub blub blub."

The robots all started laughing as the man flopped like a fish.

"Now make him act like a… a flower!" Zapper laughed.

The man stuck his arms out like leaves and began saying "Photosynthesis… I'm performing photosynthesis… look at my pretty pink petals!"

More laughter.

"Make him dance like a ballerina, zako!"

The man did a graceful pirouette.

"Make him take off his shoes and put them on his hands!"

The man took off his sneakers and slid them on to his hands.

"Make him sing a song!"

"Make him do jumping jacks!"

"Make him eat his socks!"

Legato could not believe the silly things the Dark Axis was making him do, but his life depended on it. He had to continue fulfilling their requests, or he'd die…

--

The next morning, Vash and Wolfwood woke up to a cheery sunrise. Shute's mother brought them a delicious breakfast (of doughnuts, of course), and they wondered what they should do today.

"I wonder what we should do today," Vash thought out loud.

"Let's ask Shute," Wolfwood said. "Maybe the Gundam Force does something special we should know about on the weekends."

Then someone knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Vash asked.

"It's me, Captain Gundam," said Captain Gundam.

"Okay, come in," said Vash.

So Captain came inside. He looked different than he had the day before.

"Say, Captain, did you get a haircut or something?" Vash asked, puzzled.

"No, I am in my mobile citizen form. It's my secret disguise," Captain replied.

"Oh, I see," Vash said.

"Do we have to get secret disguises too?" Wolfwood inquired.

"That sounds like a good idea," Captain said. "We should go to Blanc Base and ask Chief Haro."

So the Gundam, plant, and human headed to the Blanc Base in one of the Gunperry aircrafts. They arrived after a short while.

"Good morning, Chief," said Captain as he saluted the commander of the SDG.

"Good morning, Captain, Vash, and Wolfwood. What brings you here this morning?" Chief Haro asked.

"We were wondering if we needed disguises to conceal our identities as members of the Super Dimensional Guard," Vash replied.

Chief Haro nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. We'll have Guneagle help create alternate identities for both of you."

"Thanks, Chief!" Wolfwood said.

Guneagle was called for and he came to meet the newest members of the SDG.

"Come on, you two, let's make some awesome disguises for you!" the winged Gundam said. He barely came up to Vash and Wolfwood's waists, and Vash had to resist the urge to hug the adorable little robot to pieces. "Not many people know, but I'm the best at making disguises for the Super Dimensional Guard!"

"Did you make Captain's disguise?" Wolfwood asked.

"No, I wasn't built yet," Guneagle responded. "Kao Lyn added that feature when he built Captain. But he needs to use the Re-Equip Ring to get ready for battle, and that takes time. My methods are much more practical!"

Guneagle first chose a new identity for Vash.  
"Okay, Vash, your new name is Henry Broomhead. You're a janitor at Neotopia Mall."

"WHAT?!" Vash exclaimed incredulously. "A _janitor_?"

"Well, your hair looks like a broom, that's a perfect haircut for a janitor!" Guneagle explained. "You'll fit in perfectly."

Wolfwood giggled and Vash shot a very angry look at him.

"And you, Wolfwood, your name will be Johnny Appleseed—"

"Johnny Appleseed? Isn't he a folk legend?"

"Yeah," Guneagle said. "You're going to work at the supermarket, in the produce section."

It was Vash's turn to giggle. Wolfwood shot him a quite un-holy look.

"Good, you're disguises are all settled. I'll get your uniforms ASAP," Guneagle said, flying away before he could get a second opinion.

"I think I know why no one knows why Guneagle is so good at disguises," Wolfwood muttered, shaking his head.

--

The Magna-Musai returned to the Dark Axis headquarters an hour or so later. Legato was still in shock from the strange, strange things the robots had made him do. It certainly was weird, seeing a grown man having an invisible tea party with the Queen of England (also invisible).

Grappler Gouf met the returning party as soon as they got off the ship.

"Well, can Legato really control minds?" he asked, still skeptical.

Zapper Zaku nodded. "He sure can! Oh man, it was hilarious!"

"Hilarious, zako!" the Zako soldiers chorused.

"Duh, funny," Destroyer Dom said.

"That's great news," Grappler Gouf said. If he had a mouth, he would have been grinning quite evilly.

"All we need to do is test Knives' skills, and then we'll finally be able to wipe out the pitiful organic creatures of Neotopia, and the Gundam Force as well!" Zapper cackled.

Legato and Knives were standing behind the Dark Axis commanders, listening to their conversation.

"Good going, Legato," Knives whispered. "Now all I have to do is show them the true power of a plant like myself and we'll have all of the humans on Gunsmoke wiped out in no time."

Legato smiled creepily. "I can't wait to destroy them all, Knives!"

"Me neither!"

The two of them began to grin evilly once again, and evil music echoed in the background ominously…

"Shut that off, zako!" a Zako soldier said, kicking his companion, who had a boom box.

The second Zako pushed the off button. "Sorry, zako."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER ****3**

Things had calmed down considerably on Gunsmoke during Vash and Knives' absence. No bounty hunters were mowing down buildings looking for the bounty and no one was dying by Knives' evil plans. In fact, no one really even noticed the absence of the plants and their companions—Wolfwood and Legato, respectively—except for a few people.

--

"Where in the _world_ have Vash and Wolfwood disappeared to?" Meryl Stryfe of the Bernadelli Insurance Society exclaimed. Three days had passed since the disappearance of the outlaw and the priest and the mysterious appearance of the giant banana.

"I don't know," Millie Thompson responded. "Although, I have the strangest feeling that the banana has something to do with it."

"They'd better not be causing any trouble…" Meryl said. She did not want any additional paperwork to slave over. "We should check the next town for them. Knowing them, they probably got drunk and wandered off."

The two insurance girls set off to the next town to continue their search.

--

Meanwhile, Knives' Gung-Ho Guns were meeting about the matter of their leader and Legato.

"Where do you think they've run off to?" asked Rai-Dei the Blade.

"Who knows?" Monev the Gale spat. "Those two are plain weird."

The Gung-Ho Guns all agreed on Monev's point.

Dominique the Cyclops scratched her head. "What should we do with them gone, I wonder…"

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to that jazz festival in April City," Midvalley the Hornfreak grinned.

The Gung-Ho Guns started murmuring amongst themselves about their plans.

"I'll visit my friends, the sandworms!" Zazie the Beast decided.

"Oh boy!" Leonof the Puppet-Master exclaimed gleefully, "I can go to some puppet shows!"

Thus, the Gung-Ho Guns ran off to do as they pleased. You know what they say: When the plant is away, the assassins will play!

--

It was Vash and Wolfwood's, or should I say, Henry and Johnny's, first day of work at their undercover jobs. Vash was dressed in a lovely red janitor's uniform embroidered with the words "Neotopia Mall Janitorial Squadron" and Wolfwood wore a nice green apron with "Neotopia Green Grocers" printed on front in a fanciful font. The gunman and the priest tried their very hardest not to laugh hysterically at the other's appearances.

"Have a good day at work, Johnny," Vash giggled.

"You too, Henry," Wolfwood replied, trying not to laugh.

The two of them set off to work, chuckling to themselves.

--

Knives and Legato waited impatiently for the three Dark Axis officers with the Zako escort that had been sent for them. The two of them were unsure of why they had been sent for, but Knives was pretty sure it was for him to demonstrate his amazing plant skills. But Zako soldiers were not the greatest company, they soon learned.

Knives groaned in annoyance. "I wish they'd stop saying 'zako,'" he complained, "My head hurts."

"I would make them stop if I could, master!" Legato declared.

"Of course you would," Knives said dully.

Just then, Zapper Zaku stomped over. The Zakos cowered as the angry maroon robot approached with his gun at the ready.

"Knives! Come with me," Zapper growled. "My fellow officers and I are going to see what your so-called 'Angel Arm' can do." He led the plant away at gunpoint, leaving Legato with only a few Zako soldiers for company.

Knives allowed Zapper to lead him away from Legato. The blue-haired man waved goodbye again, and Knives wondered why he kept doing that. It was odd, even by Legato standards.

Soon, he and Zapper Zaku arrived in a large, spacious area, far from where he had arrived. One section was cluttered with scrap metal and what appeared to be bits and pieces of robots. Grappler Gouf and Destroyer Dom were waiting for them.

"There you are," Grappler said. "Let's get this test done and over with so we can start planning our attack of Neotopia!"

"Duh," Destroyer said.

Zapper gestured at the large pile of junk. "Alright, Knives. We're going to see how amazing your plant powers are. Use your Angel Arm thing to destroy as much as that pile of scrap as you can," he commanded.

"Not a problem," Knives responded, with a happy grin at the three officers. He drew his gun and let it begin fusing into his arm. Within seconds, his Angel Arm was formed and ready to fire.

"Stay back, now," Knives warned Zapper, Grappler, and Destroyer. He knew his Angel Arm didn't hurt humans, but he didn't know what it would do to robots. As much as he would have liked to kill the three of them, he had no idea how to get back to Gunsmoke from this dimension without their help.

The massive weapon discharged with a blinding flash. When the energy from the shot finally dissipated, the pile had disappeared completely. Knives let his arm return to its normal state and turned around to see the Dark Axis officers' reactions.

Grappler stared amazedly. "I have to admit, I was not expecting that."

Destroyer laughed dumbly. "Big weapon!"

Zapper clapped Knives heartily on the back. "That was amazing, Knives! With this power, we'll be able to defeat the Gundam Force and conquer Neotopia in no time! Destroyer, bring him back to his mind-controlling friend and we'll begin planning our invasion," the maroon Zaku instructed.

Knives grinned happily. He was one step closer to destroying all of Gunsmoke's accursed humans.

--

Zakos did not make the best company, Legato learned quickly. He'd waved goodbye to Knives like he had before, but Knives didn't wave back again. Legato had decided to sulk until his master returned, but the Zakos continuously pestered him.

It all started when they refused to stop staring.

The blue-haired man had been brooding when he suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He looked up to see the Zakos surrounding him, staring with their empty red eyes.

"Would you stop staring at me?" Legato asked.

One of them blinked, but they did not stop.

Legato unsuccessfully tried to ignore them so he could sulk and brood, but something about the stubby little green robots unnerved him. He tugged at his hair and groaned in frustration. He wished Knives was back and that they were on Gunsmoke with all of the nasty humans instead of the Zakos… anything but Zakos!

--

Vash, aka Henry Broomhead, whistled cheerily as he mopped. Neotopia Mall was rather clean to begin with, so his cleaning duties were very quick and easy. He'd spent more time relaxing in the break room with his new co-workers, than actually cleaning.

"Henry, come in, Henry," crackled his walkie-talkie.

"This is Henry," Vash responded promptly. "What do you need?"

"There's been a spill in Auntie Susenberry's Doughnut Shop," said Chuck, the GM in charge of the Janitorial Squad. "Can you help?"

"Of course!" Vash replied, already en route to the doughnut shop. Anything to see his beloved pastries!

--

Meanwhile, Wolfwood, alias Johnny Appleseed, was arranging a display of potatoes in the produce section with his co-worker, Harold, the Ball. He'd never seen this much fresh food before, since the desert climate of Gunsmoke couldn't support much agriculture. He hadn't even _heard_ of half the stuff they sold here.

"Clean up in aisle three," the loudspeakers blared.

"I'll do it!" Wolfwood told Harold.

"Thank you, Johnny," Harold called as Wolfwood went to clean up the collapsed display in aisle three.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," apologized a little old lady on a motorized shopping scooter.

Wolfwood smiled amiably as he fixed the display. "Not a problem, ma'am! Now, is there any other way I can help you?"

"Now aren't you the sweetest," the lady cooed.

--

Soon the workday was over for both Vash and Wolfwood. The two of them walked back to Shute's house, discussing the day's events at their new jobs.

"Auntie Susenberry is the best!" Vash declared around a mouthful of doughnuts. "Her doughnuts are the most delicious ones I've ever tasted!"

"Well, I saw a kumquat!" Wolfwood responded.

"A _what_?" Vash asked.

"A kumquat. It's a type of fruit," Wolfwood explained.

"That's a silly name," Vash said.

"You're a silly name," Wolfwood muttered.

Before long, the outlaw and priest had returned to Shute's home on the outskirts of Neotopia. Vash changed out of his janitorial jumpsuit into his red duster while Wolfwood took off the apron from the greengrocer's that he had worn over his suit.

Shute, Captain, Bakunetsumaru, and Zero were all at Shute's house that afternoon.

"Hello Vash and Wolfwood," Captain said.

Vash immediately felt the urge to hug the Gundams again, especially Bakunetsumaru. The little Gundams were so cute, and he just couldn't resist! Disregarding Baku's former threats, the outlaw swept the little musha into a bear hug.

"You are so dang cute!" squealed Vash.

"YOU ASKED FOR IT!" Baku bellowed. The red-and-white musha broke free and drew his swords. His adorable eyes narrowed into slits. He was steaming mad—and considering the fact that he went by the title Blazing Samurai, Vash wouldn't have been surprised if Bakunetsumaru was _actually_ steaming.

"I think he's going to challenge you to a duel," Wolfwood said.

"Oh, like the Quick Draw Competition you entered me in?"

Wolfwood nodded. "Something like that."

"A Quick Draw Competition?" Captain inquired.

"It's a gunslinging contest Wolfwood entered me in _without my permission_—" Vash shot a dirty look at Wolfwood, "—when we were in May City to win money for this poor family he was working for," the outlaw explained. "I entered Wolfwood to return the favor—" Another angry glare"—and we ended up having to duel each other."

"Sounds exciting!" Shute said.

"And then what happened?" Baku shouted.

Zero stopped Vash before he could explain further. "Don't give him any ideas!" the knight warned.

Unfortunately, Zero was too late.

"Vash the Stampede! Your hugs have soiled my honor! I challenge you to a duel!" Bakunetsumaru shouted angrily.

Taken aback, the outlaw looked both to Wolfwood and Captain. The priest shrugged.

"I'd say accept, as long as Baku does not mean to kill," Captain said.

"He doesn't," Zero insisted.

Vash approached Baku. The top of the musha's crest barely reached above his knees. "Okay, I accept. Let's do this like the Quick Draw Competition—if it's fine with you, of course."

Bakunetsumaru nodded.

"We'll start back-to-back and each take ten paces… well, maybe you should take twenty. After that, turn around and shoot," Vash explained.

"Alright. Let's begin," Baku said, turning away from Vash. The outlaw wondered how the musha was going to shoot with swords as they walked apart from each other. Maybe he had a concealed gun.

Vash counted his paces in his head: …e_ight… nine… ten!_ Vash spun around, drawing his .45 Long Colt revolver, which glinted dramatically in the sunlight.

But then he saw Baku. Behind the musha Gundam, flames burned dramatically. He drew his swords and moved them in a strange pattern. A large circle mysteriously formed and Baku's crest appeared in the center. Before Vash could even begin to register what was going on, the little musha was charging at him with a mighty yell.

Vash's finger pressed on the trigger of his gun, but he was too late. Bakunetsumaru leapt forward, and slashing the swords in a crossing pattern.

"_TENKYOUKEN!_"

A flaming X smashed into Vash and he fell backwards, stunned. Baku stomped over to the outlaw.

"Did I win?" he demanded.

"Yes," Vash wheezed.

Because of his mouthplate, the Gundam couldn't smile, but he definitely looked like he was grinning triumphantly. "Great!" Baku exclaimed, and cheerily walked off.

Wolfwood approached the defeated outlaw. "You okay, Spikey?"

Vash sighed wearily. "Yeah. I'm never hugging another Gundam again, no matter how cute they are!"

--

When Destroyer Dom returned Knives to Legato, the blue-haired man was cowering with his hands over his face. Knives stared at his henchman with a look of bewilderment.

"Legato, what are you doing?" the plant demanded.

"Ah! Master!" Legato exclaimed, peeking through his fingers. "Thank goodness you're back! It's the Zakos! The Zakos! They wouldn't stop staring at me!" The man was in hysterics and Knives questioned his mental stability.

"Calm down," Knives demanded. Legato immediately straightened up and listened attentively to his master. "The Dark Axis officers were impressed by my powers. They're going to begin planning their invasion of Neotopia." The evil plant grinned. "Do you know what that means, dear henchman?"

Legato's eyes lit up. "We're going to Neotopia?" he asked excitedly.

"Well, yes," Knives replied, wondering why Legato seemed so happy about going to that dimension, "but that also means that we are closer to freeing all of plantkind on Gunsmoke from the horrible humans!"

"Oh, right!" Legato nodded furiously.

The two of them grinned evilly yet again as their plans moved another step forward…


End file.
